My washing machine broke. I thought I would just call someone for the quick expensive fix. But then I remembered my Yoga practice from that morning. I was working on a difficult pose that challenged me to drop back into a bridge from a shoulderstand. I didn't have the the strength to drop back to the floor so I would use a chair and drop to that first. This posture creates courage and I will need courage to fix my washing machine. My curiosity to learn something new with all its radiating effects pushes me inward towards unknown terrain.
During his class in India, one teacher I was studying with, Prashant, compared trying on a dress to practicing a new pose. He explained you can buy a new dress and appreciate its beauty in two ways; The first way is to feel beautiful wearing the new dress, the second way is to appreciate the beauty and craftsmanship of the dress, even if it doesn't fit that well. Now, he continues , replace the archetype of the dress with the Yoga posture. You look bad in the dress and you can feel uncomfortable doing the posture. Or you can appreciate the beauty of the posture and pour yourself into it by practicing the pose. He reminds us to "Respect the posture for its true fabric."
During morning"s practice I was working on this lesson. The pose wasn't comfortable it didn't fit. I would need to tighten and tuck or loosen and lengthen the body’s seams to obtain a better fit. After attempting the pose there is the muscular fatigue in the triceps and biceps which create the opening of the chest. I feel shaky and wrinkled when my legs drop behind my hands. The sweat doesn't help and my hands slide around on the surface of my back. Holding my back up as best I can, I push my tailbone in and drop again, and then one leg at a time, drop back again. Energy and hopeful feelings arrive as the days practice is done. I can exhale at the right time which relieves the tension in my hands and wrists.
Practice rest and repeat. I decided to take this attitude towards fixing the washing machine. The fix it guy on YouTube said it will take thirty minutes to replace the lid switch. The steps are to take the casing off in order to get to the lid switch, and learning the terms, lid switch, modulator and casing. It doesn't feel comfortable but neither did this morning. I stop, before pulling the casing off, and wonder why learning something new, feels slow? is this fear or absorption? As I dig further inside the machine, surprisingly I feel happier and lighter. I had never done this before and all the new tilts, clicks, and screws carried me away until the part was exposed.
As the days pass I am aware of the clothes and towels piling up in the closet. Here was another lesson. A reminder of how easy it had been to throw some laundry into the washer and then have time to do something else. As I wait for the new part to arrive I go over to my friend's house to wash some towels and visit. This is better then going to the laundromat. She shares her own washing machine stories while the towels wash, rinse and spin. It is comforting to peer down into the plastic hull and see the cycle moving on with its healthy pauses, clicks, and starts so that the towels become clean. I remember watching women in India hanging their clothes on the line strung on the building's roof. I appreciate, now, the effort of those women. Sunny weather is as convenient as a dryer, clothes dry quickly. During the monsoons the women time the moment of cloud burst, instinctual, and take their saris, sheets and towels off the line. Then rehang when the sun appears again. My friend yanks me off of my Indian roof top.
"You know what you do if you put the new part in the washer and it doesn't work"? my friend asked.
"What?"
"You get a new washer."
"Really?"
"Yes, what are you an idiot?"
"What about the landfills,"
I can afford to buy a new machine but something in me doesn't want to. It feels wasteful and unsustainable. I only want to buy a new machine as a last resort even if the old machine can go to the recycling center.
"Machines need to be built to be fixed, it will save us all a lot of energy and waste." I continue from my soapbox
"I am choosing to fix my machine to empower myself mechanically, and to avoid another man made machine ending up in the landfill or the ocean. It's not mother earths responsibility to chew it up!"
The new part arrives I glance at it under the table still in the Amazon box, and I feel anticipation. Soon, however, I become absorbed. I put the new part in, its easier the second time around, and perform a trial wash with vinegar to clean the machine's out take plug. It works. Then I put a small load in with soap and listen intently. By now I know the sounds very well, swoosh, pause, start, each cycle running perfectly, and then the final thump of done. I run downstairs and lift the lid to see if the water has completely drained. YEAHAHAHAH. I do a hip pump and quickly I put the small load in the dryer and cautiously try a medium load of sheets. I'm happy and feel empowered. Once upstairs I keep the basement door open and hear the rumble of the washer, its lack of silence is reassuring.
It took a total of one month to fix the machine. One month later and I am dropping back to a chair. The pose is starting to fit better, but its still baggy in places. The perfect fit of this pose is dropping-back to the floor. I will need to deepen the arch and lower the height, and drop to a bolster. I will respect the posture for its true fabric and trust it's purpose not only for the body but for the mind. Practicing with authenticity has no time limit. I will work on this pose next month again where I left off. This week I will try on another dress, one which has the purpose of strengthening the back so that I have more courage to go to my edge with joy. http://www.universitydistrictyoga.com/
